Quotes of the Day: Stories from Breaking Dawn
by twilightfansunite
Summary: The quote of the day from Breaking Dawn from Stephenie Meyer's website, my reflections on what said quote could mean or be in the book, and an accompanying story that probably won't happen in BD at least not the way I tell it , but will have said quote.
1. July 12th, Attack of the evil pixie

**Author's Note: Hey guys, I'm back! And glad to finally write some fanfiction. I have no excuse for my absence besides laziness and procrastination. Hopefully, I'll have the next chapter of my other story, Our Trip to Forks, up later today. **

**July 12****th**** Quote: **

_**Alice:** "I'll play you for it. Rock, paper, scissors."  
**Edward:** "Why don't you just tell me who wins?"  
**Alice:**_ _"I do. Excellent."_

Hmmm. I don't really know what's going on in this quote. Maybe they're fighting over who gets to take Bella for the day? Wedding stuff? A friendly wager for a couple of bucks? The possibilities are endless. Oh well, on to the story.

* * *

Author's POV

Bella and Edward are sharing a nice and sweet, private moment on said vampire's bed when, all of a sudden, BOOM! CRASH! THREATENING LIGHTNING BOLT! And in pops a certain devilish little pixie…Alice.

Alice: **in a singsong voice** Bellllllaaaaa!

Bella: **groans** Yes, Alice?

Alice: C'mon, get up. We have to go shopping!

Bella: **groans louder and buries herself into Edward's chest** Eddie, I don't wanna go! **looks up at Edward with best puppy dog face she can muster**

Edward: **can't resist the force of the puppy dog eyes** No Alice, not today.

Alice: **sad** Humph! Why do you get her all the time! She's with you every day and I never get to do stuff with her! Wah!

Edward: **rolls eyes** Whatever.

Alice: **slightly annoyed now** Edward Cullen, give me your fiance! I wanna spend the day with Bella!!

Edward: **sighs** No.

Alice: But I want to –

Edward: No.

Alice: But can I just –

Edward: No!

Alice: But –

Edward: **gets all up in Alice's grill, personal bubble, etc.** NO!!

Alice: I'll play you for it. Rock, paper, scissors.

Edward: **dumfounded, mouth agape** Huh?

Alice: **looks at him as if he's the stupidest vamp on the planet** I'll play you for it. Rock, paper, scissors for a day with Bella.

Edward: Uh…

Alice: Well…

Edward: Why don't you just tell me who wins?

Alice: **blank stare as she does her psychic thing** I do. Excellent. C'mon Bella!

Bella: Grrrrrr.

Edward: **apologetic topaz eyes that dazzle innumerable girls around the world** Sorry.

Bella: Grrrrrr.

Alice: Oh, suck it up!

* * *

**Well... what d'ya think?**


	2. July 13th, Mike Newton that vile man!

**Author's Note: Okay, here you go, chapter two. There will be at least one more chapter for this, and hopefully one more for my other story, Our Trip to Forks. **

**July 13****th**** Quote: **

**Bella: **_"Oh Mike! How will I go on?"_

Haha. I think that Mike tried to convince Bella that she should be with him or something like that, and she was being dramatic and sarcastically saying something like, "Get a life, loser." But anyways, story time!

* * *

**in biology class**

Mike: **trying to act all "this is why I'm hot"** Hey Bella, got the invite to the wedding.

Bella: **tries to hide disgust** Oh…uh, hey Mike. Good.

Mike: So, uh, yeah can I talk to you for a minute?

Bella: Uh…sure?

Mike: **takes her to corner of classroom, suddenly becoming all "ruff ruff" with his golden retriever-like ways** Please don't do this!

Bella: What?

Mike: Don't marry that _Cullen._ I'm the better choice! I am, I am!

Bella: **trying to keep her composure while acting like she's speaking to a toddler** Now Mike, we talked about this before. I don't like you like that. Do you understand?

Mike: **yells out** NO! Marry me, darn you!

**gets weird looks from other kids and one glare from a certain inhumanly beautiful vampire**

Bella: **totally loses it** LISTEN BUCKO! I DON'T LIKE YOU AND NEVER WILL LIKE YOU AS MORE THAN AN ANNOYINGLY PERSISTENT AQUAINTENCE! I'M MARRYING _THAT CULLEN_ WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT SO BACK UP AND LEAVE ME ALONE BEFORE I GO TOTALLY OLD MUTUAL ON YOUR ASS ( **A/N:for those of you who got that joke, I thank you) **!!

Mike: **stands there totally dumfounded as Bella pants in angry exhaustion**

**after a few moments**

Mike: But, but, I thought we had something. We had chemistry **intends bad pun and stupidly holds up biology textbook**

Bella: **rolls eyes** We're in biology you idiot, not chemistry.

Mike: Oh.

Bella:** starts to walk away**

Mike: Wait! If you marry him I'll…I'll never talk to you again! I'll completely cut you off!

Bella: Oh Mike! How will I go on? Relieving myself of an annoying puppy dog, you, and being with the best man in the world, Edward, for the rest of my life. Yes, life is tragic.

**Soooo...funny? Horrible? Like it? Love it? Hate it? Tell me! **


	3. July 14th, Girl Fight

**Author's Note: I just want to clear something up really quick. Yes, I am poking a little fun at some aspects of the Twilight series, but it's just for humorous purposes, and my attempt at humor. I absolutely love the Twilight series, and I'm just trying to be a tad bit funny. Not mean in any way. Just wanted to get that out of the way to make sure no one misunderstands me. **

**Disclaimer: I forgot to put a disclaimer in my other two chapters, so this will be for all three. I own absolutely nothing. Stephenie Meyer owns everything. She even owns my plot lines because they wouldn't be possible without her novels. **

**July 14****th**** Quote:**

**Tanya: **"Ah, Edward. I've missed you."

My guess is that either the Denali coven came to the wedding, or Bella and Edward's honeymoon could be in Alaska. Either way it'll be total awesomeness. Onward and upward.

* * *

**Edward and Bella are nearing the house of the Denali coven in Alaska**

Edward: **holds Bella's hand as he drives at inhumanly vast speeds**

Bella: **humming to herself** I'm on my honeymoon, I'm on my honeymoon. La la la, gonna get in Edward's pants…

Edward: **coaching himself in his head** Alright Edward, you've got a big week ahead. You've got to face a crazy, potentially deadly strawberry-blond vampire that you turned down decades ago, you've got to become one with the love of your life, and then you have to eternally damn her to vampire-ey hell. You can do it man!

Bella: La la la, Edward's pants.

Edward: We're here.

Tanya: **comes out to greet Edward that little gardening tool he picked for a mate** Hello!

Bella: **smiles politely and waves**

Edward: **smiles** Hey Tanya, good to see you again.

Tanya: **motions towards door** Please, come in.

Edward: **enters and sits down on couch in living room**

Bella:** follows and does the same**

Tanya: **comes to sit on other side of Edward** Ah, Edward. **puts hand on his thigh** I've missed you.

Edward: **looks uncomfortable**

Bella: **waits for Tanya to remove her hand from Edward's thigh, but kinda snaps when she doesn't** Back off, bitch. He already rejected you. Let it go.

Tanya: **stands up** You little whore, you don't deserve him! You're human!

Bella: **stands up too** Yeah, for a couple more days!

Tanya: Wh-what? **looks at Edward, who still looks uncomfortable** You're changing _her_?

Edward: **nods**

Tanya: Bu-but, Eddiepuss, we had something special.

Edward: **sighs** As I've told you before, we had nothing.

Tanya: Humph. **stalks away defeated**

* * *

**Haha, I kinda enjoyed writing this chapter. Did you enjoy reading it? I hope so. **


	4. July 15th, Sex Talk

**Author's Note: Okay guys, here you go. Next quote. I personally don't like this chapter a whole lot, but if you like it, let me know. Also, if you guys wanna review or PM me with your ideas as to what the quote could be, I would love to hear from you. And please note that most of this chapter was written with me on Benadryll (however you spell it), which makes me really tired. **

**Disclaimer: Do I look like a famous, best-selling, multi-millionaire who owns the best book series ever? No, I look like me, Kaitlin. **

**July 15****th**** Quote:**

**Emmett: _"_**_Oooo, scary." _

I think Emmett's just being Emmett: the teasing, funny, loveable teddy bear. Maybe he was teasing Bella about something and she got mad and tried to be intimidating… maybe she was a vampire and something happens and Emmett really is scared… who knows?

* * *

Bella's POV

"Alice!" I whined. She knows I hate doing this stuff. The wedding was just a few days away and she was doing a test run for my hair and makeup. Pssh, like she needed it. She was Alice, for God's sake, of course she would do it all perfectly, test run or no test run. I had been sitting in the same chair for many long, endless hours while Alice stuck hundreds of bobby pins in my hair, used way more hairspray than necessary, and tried various combinations of foundation, eyeshadow, eyeliner, blush, lip stick, lip gloss, and some weird moisturizer thingy on my face. "Am I done ye-"

"Oh Bella, be quiet, you're finished," she interrupted.

"Finally," I sighed as I turned around to look at myself in all my horror in the mirror. (Gasps ensue) "Whoa baby!"

"You like it?"

"Alice! Are you kidding, I love it!"

"Good," she said with a satisfied smile.

She had decided on a light, natural look that made me look amazingly beautiful without trying to. Almost like Rosalie beautiful. Almost.

_LATER THAT NIGHT…_

Edward's POV

"Emmett, what's going on?"

My very annoying, at the moment, brother had asked to speak with me alone and then proceeded to lock me in his and Rosalie's bedroom. Yeah, like I couldn't get out if I wanted to, but it was still annoying. "Alright Eddie," he started, but was interrupted with my evilest death glare. I hate when people call me that. "You've got a big day coming up," he continued, "In a few days, you'll be taking the big plunge. Our little Edward's getting married."

"Yes Emmett, I'm well aware of this. Your point?"

He suddenly got a big, stupid smirk on his face and I knew something bad was about to happen. "Well, Edward, you've also got a big night coming up, and I want you to be prepared."

He couldn't speak anymore as he burst out laughing, most likely at the shocked look on my face as I registered what he was trying to do. My brother was not just trying to give me a sex talk! I stormed out of the room as fast as I could, muttering many profanities under my breath as he started rolling on the floor in a laughing fit.

_MEANWHILE…_

Bella's POV

"Alice, what are you doing?" I asked as the pixie locked me in mine and Edward's room.

"Bella," she began seriously. I was getting worried now. "You're getting married in a few days and I want to talk to you about something."

"Um…okay?"

"Well, in a few days, you and Edward will – I mean, you know you'll – you need to be prepared – it's a big step…"

"Oh my god, Alice, you're not! Are…are you giving me a sex talk!? Haven't you tortured me enough for one day!?" I couldn't believe this was happening.

At just the right moment, Edward burst through the door (thank God) to save me from my nightmare. "Alice, out!"

Emmett walked in too and he and Alice both burst out laughing. Apparently, the same had been happening to Edward. They were both roughly escorted out of the room by an angry Edward and the door was slammed in their faces. "Eddie's gonna get some, Eddie's gonna get some," Emmett chanted with Alice still laughing.

Edward cursed a number of profanities towards Emmett under his breath and I had turned thirteen shades of red. Both from embarrassment and anger. "Ooh, Emmett, just wait until I'm a vampire. I am so going to kill you."

"Ooh, scary," Emmett replied through the door.

* * *

**Well...**


	5. July 16th, Bachelor Party

**Author's Note: Alright, another chapter. Hope you like it. I know the stories are kinda unrealistic and will probably never happen in Breaking Dawn, but it is what it is. I could never write as well as the amazing Stephenie Meyer and in this story, I'm not really trying to. **

**Disclaimer: Um...yeah it'll never happen. I can hope all I want, but I will never be Stephenie Meyer. **

**July 16****th**** Quote:**

**Bella: **_"Jasper? What do vampires do for bachelor parties? You're not taking him to a strip club, are you?"_

I love this quote. Can you even picture Edward at a strip club, lol? The quote kinda explains itself without me giving you a story, but here you go anyway.

* * *

**days before the wedding, the night of the bachelor and bachelorette parties**

Bella: Jasper? What do vampires do for bachelor parties? You're not taking him to a strip club, are you?

Jasper: No, of course not Bella. Stop worrying.

Bella: **unsure** Ok…well bye. **hurries off to Alice's car to go to her party**

Edward: **sitting uncomfortably in living room**

Emmett: **wheels out extremely large cake from the kitchen**

Edward: Um…okay? **seriously doubting whether Emmett hasn't gone insane, seeing as how vampires hate human food**

Jasper: **turns on music**

Emmett: **yells "ta-da!" as a mountain lion jumps out of extremely large cake**

Edward: **gasps, then bursts out laughing at joke** Hahahahahahahahaha.

Jasper: **also laughing** You're welcome.

Emmett: **laughing as well** Yeah, you're welcome.

Edward: Thank you. **begins feeding on favorite food**

**party continues with music, throwing cake at each other, cleaning it up so Esme won't get mad, etc **

* * *

**Haha, I liked this chapter too. **


	6. July 17th, FatherDaughter Dance

**Author's Note: Sorry for the delay on this chapter guys. But here it is now, so here you go. Sorry that this one is shorter than usual. **

**Disclaimer: I do own the Twilight series. All three books are on their own little bookshelf in my room right now. Does that make me Stephenie Meyer? Sadly, no. She owns the idea.**

**July 17****th**** Quote: **

**Charlie: **_"Bells, we're up to bat."_

This quote is kinda self-explanatory too. I think it's definitely at the wedding, but as to whether it's them walking down the aisle or doing the father-daughter dance is only for Stephenie Meyer to know. Until August 2nd at least.

* * *

Bella's POV

"Bells, we're up to bat," Charlie said, looking at me expectantly.

Oh God. Oh God. Deep breaths, big breaths Bella. This was it. Today was the day of my wedding and I was now officially married to the most perfect being on the planet **(Edward, duh)**. I had successfully walked down the aisle with my father in heels over an inch long (!) without tripping and didn't really feel like pressing my luck, but the moment had come for the lethal father-daughter dance. Charlie looked as nervous as I did; I didn't get my clumsiness from my mother.

I looked over to my new husband and Edward gave me a reassuring nod, urging me forward. I took my father's outstretched hand and walked slowly onto the wooden dance floor with him. The music started and Charlie and I began moving back and forth awkwardly. As the dance went on, we became more graceful (not really graceful, just less awkward). I stumbled a little once or twice throughout the entire dance, but other than that, it was completely okay. I don't know what I got so worked up about.

Until it tripped on my way off the dance floor.

**(Just kidding, she didn't really trip)**

* * *

**Once again, sorry for how short it is. Review, please. I'll be your best friend.**


	7. July 18th, Attack of the pixie part two

**Author's Note: Here you go, I'm back with today's quote. I love this quote. Hope you guys are pleased. **

**Disclaimer: Apparently I'm not Stephenie Meyer, as much as I wish I could be. The voices in my head keep telling me I am. Why can't they be right? **

**July 18****th**** Quote:**

**Edward: **_"You're awfully small to be so hugely irritating."_

Obviously he's talking to Alice. We all know she can be an evil little pixie sometimes. I think it has something to do with Alice bugging them about some minor wedding detail and/or planning the wedding.

* * *

Bella's POV

"Alice, please, enough for one day!"

Alice had tied Edward and I up all day with decisions on wedding details and I was tired of it. I just wanted to hide in Edward's room and sleep for a while. Who knew planning a wedding could be so tiring? Especially when you have a psychic who knows the answer to everything anyway but still insists on asking you questions. Stupid little pixie. "Bella, just tell me what color napkins you want and I'll let you go. Your choices are red, white, or gold," she sighed, then persisted to hold up a napkin of each color.

"Alice…sigh…the gold ones, I guess."

"Thank you."

Edward and I stood up to go upstairs. "Wait! Bella, what color roses do you like better?! White or red? Do you even want roses? What about…chrysanthemums?!"

I rolled my eyes and sighed heavily. Edward pinched the bridge of his nose. We began walking away again, but Alice showered us with another round of questions about stupid details that could go one way or the other as far as I was concerned. "Alice," I whined, "c'mon!"

"You're awfully small to be so hugely irritating," Edward shot at her.

"It's one of my many charms," she shot back.

"Whatever, we're going upstairs," I said with finality, and Edward picked me up and ran with me at vampire speed up to his room before Alice could interrupt with more questions.

* * *

**So...sorry it's so short. All of them are short, but the last two have been unusually short. Review anyway. **


	8. July 19th, Practical Joke

**Author's Note: Hey guys, sorry for the delay again. I'll try not to get too bad about that. Anyway, here you go. **

**Disclaimer: I am and will never be the wonderful Stephenie Meyer and all that applies. Dang it.**

**July 19****th**** Quote: **

**Bella: **_"Why am I covered in feathers?"_

Um, I honestly have no idea. The only thing I can possibly think of is a practical joke on Bella, or maybe some crazy game at her bachelorette party. Does anybody have any idea? If so, PM me or review this chapter, cuz I would love to hear your ideas. I am stumped.

* * *

Edward: **watching Bella sleep**

Jasper, Alice, Emmett, and Rosalie: **burst into Edward's bedroom**

Edward: SHHHHHHH! Bella is sleeping!

Jasper: Calm down, Edward **sends waves of calm**

Alice: Yeah, Edward, we just want to have a little fun. **gets mischievous pixie smile**

Edward: **suspicious** What kind of fun?

Emmett: Just a little practical joke is all.

Edward: Like what?

Alice: Covering Bella with feathers!

Edward: No wa –

Jasper: **sends waves of acceptance**

Edward: Uh…sure, I guess.

Rosalie: **pulls out honey and begins pouring it over Bella**

Jasper, Alice, Emmett, Rosalie, and Edward: **pull out feathers and begin sprinkling them over Bella**

Bella: **stirs**

Jasper, Alice, Emmett, Rosalie, and Edward: **jump back**

Bella: **wakes up slowly** Hey guys, what are you all doing in mine and Edward's room?

Jasper, Alice, Emmett, and Rosalie: **hold back laughter** Nothing.

Bella: **looks down** Why am I covered in feathers?

Jasper, Alice, Emmett, and Rosalie: **are quiet for a moment**

Bella:** looks at them expectantly**

Jasper, Alice, Emmett, and Rosalie: Edward did it! **run out of room laughing as Bella glares at Edward**

* * *

**Well...what d'ya think? Review please. **


	9. July 20th, No Story

**Author's Note: Okay, here you go. **

**Disclaimer: I wish I was Stephenie Meyer and owned the Twilight series, but sadly, I have not wished upon a good enough star, so I do not. **

**July 20****th**** Quote: **

**Alice: "**No one will dare to call you plain when I'm through with you."

**Bella: **"Only because they're afraid you'll suck their blood."

* * *

This is definitely at the wedding, and Alice is definitely doing Bella's hair and makeup and whatnot. The only question I have is as to whether some people at the wedding know about the Cullens being vampires. Of course, if the Denali clan comes they'll know. But last I checked, Charlie and Renee and all them didn't know what the Cullens were, meaning they wouldn't be afraid of having their blood sucked out. Is Bella just like joking, or did Stephenie decide to make her tell Charlie and Renee and all them about vampires? Maybe I'm just over thinking things, like I always do.

And I will not be writing a story today. I'm gonna let you guys keep your own ideas about what Bella will look like on her wedding day and how the wedding will be and all that. And, if you want, tell me what your ideas for that are. Just PM me or review this chapter and tell me what you think. If I get a good one, I may just post it in a chapter in a couple of days. If a quote comes out that would correspond with your idea, I may also put your story as a chapter by itself, giving all the credit to you of course. If you want to send me a story, please PM or review by Friday.


	10. July 21st, NOOOOOO!

**Author's Note: I am soooooo sorry, you guys. This is the worst I've been at updating. I've been really busy getting used to my new soccer schedule, so I don't have a lot of time to write right now. But I promise I will never wait this long again. Also, I can only post two chapters right now, cuz it's two in the morning and I'm tired. But I swear to you good people that I will post the next two chapters tomorrow. Well, really later today. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight at all. Whatsoever. Not a bit. Nope. **

**July 21****st**** Quote: **

**Edward: **_"Oops."_

There are so many possibilities for this quote, I can't even begin to interpret them. One unlikely possibility is that he accidentally killed Bella during…her request…because if that happened, I think he would be overreacting a little more than that. Unless like it's after she woke up and he's a little sheepish about it, but I still think he would react more than that. I guess we'll just wait and see.

* * *

Bella and Edward: **sharing moment on Edward's bed very much like that one part in Eclipse where Edward shows Bella the benefits of the bed. Or that one time when Bella tried to steal Edward's sparkly innocence when she still wanted to have sex before marriage**

Bella: **testing Edward's limits, pushing the boundaries, and all that jazz**

Edward:** growls a warning**

Bella: **takes it totally the wrong way and practically rips her clothes off**

Edward: **kinda loses it by accidentally sinking teeth into Bella's neck**

Bella: GASP!

Edward: Crap! This can't be good.

Bella: **screams loudly in pain and shock before going unconscious**

Edward: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Bella: …

Edward: Oops.

3 Days Later

Bella: **waking up** What the –

Edward: Bella! Bella, Bella, Bella, you're back!

Bella: **gets mental images of Edward running around her in little circles wagging his tail, much like an excited puppy dog**

Edward: I am so sorry. That was never meant to happen. I didn't want you to be a vampire yet. Can you ever forgive me?

Bella: No.

Edward: **overly dramatic** NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! How will I go on?

Bella: Jeez, I was just kidding. Of course I forgive you.

Edward: YAY!

Bella: Ok, um, I'm not a fragile human anymore, so can we…

Edward: Yep!

Edward and Bella: **go off skipping merrily to fulfill Bella's request and live happily ever after**

* * *

**Sorry if this one sucks, but there were just so many possibilities for that quote, and my brain was very overwhelemed. **


	11. July 22nd, Toying with Edward's mind

**Author's Note: Okay guys, like I said, I will post the other two chapters later today, but I have to get some sleep. Be warned, this chapter is not my usual attempt at humor. This is total romantic fluff with a little humor at the beginning. And also be warned, the last time I wrote romance was with my first story, The Perfect Day?, and that's been a while, so it may be bad. But please review and tell me what you think. Even if it's a flame because you're mad at me for not updating. **

**Disclaimer: Once again, I do not and will never own Twilight or be Stephenie Meyer. **

**July 22****nd**** Quote: **

**Renee: "Alice wouldn't let us do anything else. Every time we tried, she all but ripped our throats out."**

Um…I really don't know. Maybe involving Bella's bachelorette party? Something for the wedding?

* * *

BPOV

"SURPRISE!"

"You guys really didn't have to do anything for me," I said as I turned a few shades redder.

"Don't be silly, Bella. What kind of future sister would I be if I didn't throw you a bachelorette party?" Alice replied.

"Um…a good one," I said. She knows I don't like parties, especially not when they're for me. Alice just rolled her eyes and went on with the party.

**A Few Hours Later**

I officially hate bachelorette parties. Thank god I'm only getting married once. Not only did I actually have to go to a party, my party. Not only did I get gifts, which I hate getting. Not only were said gifts extremely embarrassing lingerie sets. But she hired a stripper. A FREAKING STRIPPER! What was she thinking?

**Remembering the party**

I was just starting to have a little fun and I relaxed, enjoying the party. It was less horrible than I thought it would be. I was having a good time, talking to all my friends and family. Then that fateful knock sounded. "I'll get it," I offered while Alice smiled that devilish pixie smile of hers. Hmmm, something was definitely up. I answered the door and felt my heart drop.

"Excuse me, miss, but I've received a complaint of excessive noise. Keep it down, please," the cop said.

I was confused. "Sir, no one lives near here for miles. And we're not even playing any music."

"May I step in for a minute?"

"Uh, sure, I guess."

He came in the house and all of a sudden all the girls started giggling. Then he walked over to the radio Alice had brought out, and suddenly, it clicked. Oh God, this was not happening. Alice did not hire a male stripper.

Sadly, she did. He started dancing to that God awful music and…ugh. Finally, after a few bad dance moves and strip teases, my horror was over. "Guys! How could you do that to me?!"

Alice, Angela, and Esme all tried to suppress their laughter. "I'm sorry sweetie," my mom said, "Alice wouldn't let us do anything else. Every time we tried, she all but ripped our throats out."

**Breaks reverie**

"Goodnight, Bella!" Angela and Renee called as they walked out the door. Esme said the same and headed upstairs.

"Now see, was that so bad?" Alice asked.

"Yes, absolutely horrible. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to test Edward's self control with my new gifts."

She laughed as I walked upstairs and I smiled deviously for what I was about to do. I walked into Edward's room, where he lay on his bed listening to Claire de Lune from his stereo. "Hey," I said.

"Hey."

"I'm gonna change into my pajamas real quick."

"Ok."

After putting on one of my embarrassing gifts, I slowly opened the door and walked even more slowly to face a waiting Edward. He let out a low growl from his chest as he saw me. "Thought you'd like it," I said as I casually walked over and lied down next to him as if everything was perfectly normal.

I waited for him to say something, and when he didn't a snuck a look at his face. He was looking at me intently, probably a little more than he should be, as I lay there in my lingerie. I blushed and quickly looked down. He growled again slightly before leaning over and taking my face in his hands. I saw nothing but pure love and unfulfilled lust in his eyes. "Bella," he began, "don't be embarrassed. You are absolutely beautiful."

"Thank you," I mumbled.

"Are you deliberately underestimating my self control?"

"That's kinda what I was going for, yeah."

"You're very good at it."

I blushed again and tried to pull my face away but he held it there. I looked into his eyes again and saw more wanting. He leaned in a captured my lips in a sweet, soft kiss before pulling away to look at me again. I said and did nothing as I watched his eyes reluctantly linger over my body again. He kissed me again, this time more passionately. As always, I pushed the limits first and brought both of my hands to sit on either side of his neck. His hands went from my neck to my shoulders, down my arms, then to my waist, finally resting on my bare back, pressing me into his chest and holding me there. I felt his icy tongue dart out and skim my bottom lip and I felt my entire body shudder. He ended the kiss so I could breathe and moved his lips down to my neck and collarbone.

I caught my breath after a minute or two. With me still in his arms he lay back on the bed and held me next to him, humming my lullaby as I drifted to sleep. I officially love bachelorette parties.

* * *

**I kinda liked this chapter. But it doesn't matter what I think, it's what you, the lovely readers think. So tell me. Your opinion is crucial. See, I just made you feel special, so reward me with a review. **


	12. July 23rd, Nightmares

**Author's Note: Okay guys, I promised you I would be caught up later today, so here I am. Just one more chapter and I'll be on track again. Please don't hate me for getting so behind. Also, be forewarned, this chapter is more romantic than humorous as well. Not as romantic as my last chapter, but still fluff. Enjoy! **

**Disclaimer: Sigh. I want to own Twilight. I want to be Stephenie Meyer. But I do not, and am not. My hopes are crushed. **

**July 23****rd**** Quote: **

**Edward: **_"Do you want me to sing to you? I'll sing all night if it will keep the bad dreams away."_

OME! No interpretations, no confusion whatsoever, just sweet, pure Edward and Bella romance. Can you hear me hyperventilating?

* * *

BPOV

_Once the Volvo parked in front of a very familiar dirt trail, I knew immediately today would be a good day. He was taking me to the meadow. Our meadow. He slung me on his back and set me back down in our meadow in a matter of seconds. It was sunny today, and I watched intently as Edward stepped into the sunlight. I walked forward slowly to stand next to him. He curled both of his sparkling hands around my waist before sitting down and pulling me into his lap. I rested both my hands on top of his, still on my waist, and sat there basking in the warmth. "I love you," I whispered. He kissed my hair and sighed back, "I love you too, Bella." _

_Then the nightmare began. All of a sudden, as if a light switch had been flipped, the sunlight disappeared and the sky became cloudy and dark. The wind picked up and we were no longer in the meadow. We were surrounded by a maze of dark trees in a black forest. And he disappeared. My savior disappeared. Just vanished, right out from under me. "Edward?! Where are you?!" I called out, but there was no answer. _

_I stood up and frantically began searching and calling for him. Still there was no answer. I fell on many tree roots and wandered aimlessly for what felt like hours in a circle through the God forsaken place. And still, he didn't come back. I eventually just sat down and called him to no avail. "Edward? Edward! EDWARD!!"_

"Edward!" I screamed as I woke up from my nightmare and looked around in near hysterics and confusion. I sighed when I saw those wonderful topaz eyes looking worriedly at me, before collapsing against Edward's chest. He put his hands on my shoulders and gently pulled me up to look at his face. "Love, are you alright?"

I nodded. "Just a bad dream, is all," I replied before looking down, suddenly embarrassed.

"Will you please tell me?"

I shook my head. He put one hand on my chin and pulled my face back up. His eyes were dazzling. "Please?" He asked in his sweetest, velvet voice.

I sighed. Stupid lovely vampire. "It started out good. You took me to our meadow and we were just sitting there, and then it turned bad…" I trailed off.

"And?" He pressed.

"The weather got bad, and we were in a forest, and then you just…disappeared," my voice broke a little on the last word. "I kept calling and calling, but you were gone." I was in near hysterics again.

He wrapped his arms around me and held me securely to his chest in an attempt to calm me. "You know that I would never do that to you. I swear, Bella, I will never leave again."

"I know," I said, "but I can't help what my imagination conjures up in my sleep."

"Everything's okay. Why don't you just go back to sleep," he said.

The dream was still fresh in my memory and I shook my head furiously. "Do you want me to sing to you? I'll sing all night if it will keep the bad dreams away," he soothed.

I nodded. He turned me around so my back was to his chest and his arms were around my waist, holding me next to him. "I love you," he whispered before beginning to hum my lullaby. I was asleep in minutes, and dream free all night.

* * *

**See? I told you, romantical fluffiness. But I like it. Did you? **


	13. July 24th, Rosalie's Input

**Author's Note: Sorry this one is so short guys. My main concern was getting caught up, and now I am, so it's good. **

**Disclaimer: I do not and will never own anything in or associated with the Twilight series. **

**July 24****th**** Quote: **

**Rosalie:** _"Over my pile of ashes."_

Haha, very nice quote. Something to do with Emmett, maybe. I think it has something to do with Bella, and Rosalie is actually standing up for her, or something of that nature.

* * *

BPOV

"Alice, I'm tired," I complained. She sat me down at 8 o'clock this morning to help plan the wedding; it was now 2 o'clock, and we still weren't finished for the day.

"C'mon, Bella," she pleaded, "let me have my fun a little longer."

It was hard to say no when she begged me like that. I loved Alice like she was my sister already, but I wanted to go back to Edward for a while, and my brain was fried. "Alice," I sighed, not looking at her, "no. We've done enough for one day."

"Belllllaaaaa," she whined.

"Alice," I was more firm now. "If you keep it up, I'll call off the whole thing and Edward and I will elope tonight."

"I see no problem with that," Edward called from upstairs. He had left me alone with the pixie after a few hours.

"Over my pile of ashes," Rosalie spoke up.

I looked at her, shocked. She had come down to help with the wedding, but I didn't think she would care that much. She knew that a wedding meant me becoming a vampire, and she wasn't too happy about the latter.

"Don't look so surprised, Bella," she said. I laughed. "Alice and I both already love you like a sister, and we all know Edward would be pretty much nothing without you. You will have a real wedding." She was sweet, but still firm.

I was touched, and a little scared. She had never been so sentimental towards me. Maybe this wedding is a good thing after all.

* * *

**So...what you think?**


	14. July 25th, Victoria's Secret

**Author's Note: Once again, I am very sorry I let myself get so behind. I've been pretty swamped with personal stuff. But I'm back now, and it's all good. However, I am very disappointed with you guys. I have over 2000 viewers for this story and only 10 reviews. Where are you guys? I'll accept flames, but at least send me something. I would like to personally thank VampireDaisy, Officially-Bitten-by-Edward, ekmemerald, CullenCartwheel, and tripleT75 for reviewing. You guys are greatly appreciated. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, yada yada yada. **

**July 25****th**** Quote: **

**Edward:** _"You look so guilty – like you've committed a crime."_

Eeep! I think he's talking to Bella, and it's more fluff (eep again). However, I don't really know what he would be referring to…hmmm.

* * *

BPOV

"NO WAY!" I screamed at Alice. She had taken me out early this morning to go shopping, which I hated anyways, but had now gone so far as to try to take me into Victoria's Secret.

"Oh c'mon Bella, it'll be fun," she smiled with that evil pixie-ness of hers.

"Fun?! I'd rather face James and Victoria again!" Okay, that was a bit of a stretch, but still…it wasn't that far off.

She rolled her eyes at me. "Bella, you're getting married in a couple of weeks, you'll need some of this stuff. And testing Edward's self control should be fun for you."

I blushed while she looked at me with her most pleading and convincing look. "Fine," I grumbled.

"Yay," she cheered while dragging me straight to hell.

After about two hours of trying on embarrassing lingerie and sampling multiple perfumes, Alice finally let me go and drove us back home. We were there in a few minutes and I lugged three bags of useless "unmentionables" up to Edward's room. He wasn't in there, so I collapsed on the bed to rest while I waited. Then I had an idea.

I hid the Victoria's Secret bags in the bathroom, changed into a set of lingerie, dabbed just a little bit of perfume on my wrists, and sprayed sparkly body mist on my bare neck, stomach, legs, and partially exposed chest. I peeked outside, and Edward still wasn't back yet. I walked over to his bed, laying back on one of the satin pillows, resting my hands behind my head, and closing my eyes, waiting. Just waiting. I blushed when I thought of how Edward would react to my little game of testing his limits. _Maybe I should just go back and put my normal clothes back on,_ I thought.

My thoughts were interrupted by the opening of Edward's bedroom door. I sat up quickly, forgetting how I was dressed, and gasped when I saw Edward standing dumbfounded in the doorway. A growl emitted from deep in his chest, and I knew I had 

crossed the line. I was frozen where I was, trapped in the gaze of his topaz eyes. I blushed and broke the stare, looking down, very embarrassed.

I felt Edward's hand under my chin, pulling my face up to look at him again. His eyes weren't angry though. All I saw in the shimmering topaz was love. My eyes apparently said something different. "You look so guilty," he chuckled, "like you've committed a crime."

"I pushed you too far, I shouldn't have done that."

"You did nothing wrong, love. The growl you heard wasn't of anger."

"What, then?"

"Surprise, affection…lust," he admitted.

"Oh," I said. Smooth, Bella. I didn't know what else to say. "So…you're okay with this then," I asked, gesturing to my mostly bare body.

"More than okay," he laughed again. Of course he was okay with it. Like he said once before, he may be vampire, but he's still a man. A hormonal seventeen-year-old, in fact. I laughed.

"You're very beautiful, Bella," he said. I looked up at him and saw his eyes looking intently at me. I blushed again.

He sat down on the bed, kissed me sweetly and gently, then pulled me into his lap, placing his hands on my stomach. I put my hands over top of his and leaned back into him. "Thanks Alice," I whispered.

* * *

**Well, what do you think? Be brutal. **


	15. July 26th, Good Werewolf

**Author's Note: Here you go. Another fresh baked chapter. Review, please. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. Period. **

**July 26****th**** Quote:**

**Sam: **_"This is not something our treaty anticipated. This is a danger to every human in the area."_

Definitely something to do with Bella's change, or the Volturi, or something of that nature. Omg, I can't wait.

* * *

Jacob: Uh, Bella, yeah, you do know that, uh, since you're a vampire now, it'll be war, right?

Newborn Bella: Ugh, melodramatic much?

Jacob: No, seriously, it's started a war. It's against the treaty we worked out with the bloodsuckers.

Newborn Bella: Hey I take offense to that! I'm one of them now, you know!

Edward: Well, dog, I've actually asked to meet with the pack to discuss this…situation.

Jacob: Well aren't you a smart bloodsucker.

Newborn Bella: Stop it, no don't, blah blah blah.

Edward: So, Sam, how are we going to fix this problem?

Sam: **all serious** This isn't something our treaty anticipated. This **gesturing to newborn Bella** is a danger to every human in the area.

Newborn Bella: Uh, I have a name. I may be a vamp now, but I'm still Bella.

Jacob: Actually, according to the author, you're Newborn Bella. Hi Newborn Bella.

Author: Jacob shut up! How do you know about me?

Jacob: Um, because you write every word I say in this stupid and pointless plotline as part of a figment of your twisted imagination. Duh.

Author: Oh. Well then.

Jacob: Hi Newborn Bella.

Newborn Bella: Hey, stop that!

Jacob: Stop what, Newborn Bella?

Newborn Bella: That! My name is Bella!

Jacob: Not according to the author…Newborn Bella.

Newborn Bella: Stop it! Ugh, can't you kill him or something?

Author: Me?

Newborn Bella: Yes, you! Can anybody else here write everything we say and choose what we do in this pointless plotline in a figment of your twisted imagination? We're all fictional characters, for God's sake.

Author: Oh, uh sure. I guess. I never like Jacob anyway.

Jacob: Hey!

Author: Edward, kill him.

Edward: Why?

Author: Because I'm the author, and I said so!

Edward: Well, that's good enough for me. kills Jacob

Author: **celebrates the not-that-saddening loss**

Sam: Attack!

Author: Sam, stay!

Sam: But –

Author: Stay!

Sam: **stays**

Author: Good werewolf. No attacking any of the Cullens!

Sam: But…why?

Author: Because I'm the author and I said so! Jeez, you'd think you would of caught on by now!

Sam: Well then…ok, I guess. **bows down at author's supremacy**

Author: Good boy.

* * *

**Haha, I liked this one. What about you? **


	16. July 27th, No Story, again

**Author's Note: Sorry guys, but I'm pressed for time, so there's no story for this one. But I can't stress it enough, please review. For past and future chapters. **

**Disclaimer: Mwa ha ha ha! I have taken Twilight from Stephenie Meyer! Ha, haha, haha. No, just kidding. She still owns it. **

**July 27****th**** Quote: **

**Rosalie:** _"_I'd _like to beat you dead."_

Um…my only guess is like something with the Volturi. Maybe she's mad at Jane, I mean who wouldn't be? No one likes Jane. Or maybe Emmett screwed up really bad.

Sorry guys no story this time. Be creative. Use your imaginations.


	17. July 28th, Jasper

**Author's Note: I know, I know. I'm getting very lazy. I'm really sorry guys, I'm doing my best to keep this updated on time, but it's very hard right now. I'm busy with my soccer and with planning my Breaking Dawn party and many other things to deal with. Sorry to disappoint you again, but no story this time. **

**Disclaimer: If I was Stephenie Meyer, I would not be playing soccer, because I would have three young boys to care for, a husband, and a totally awesome book series to write. I am not Stephenie Meyer. **

**July 28****th**** Quote:**

**Jasper: **_"I can't understand. I can't bear this."_

Aw, poor Jasper. My guess is Bella's change, or like a big mixture of confusing emotions from some really big event that happens. As to what that event could be, I have no idea. Maybe something with the Volturi? Ooh, maybe the Volturi like declare war or something, or show up uninvited at the wedding and some big battle happens and Jasper is extremely overwhelmed. I hope Jasper doesn't implode. But my biggest theory is definitely Bella's change. But then again, Stephenie Meyer is full of surprises.

* * *

**Once again, very sorry. **


	18. July 29th, Crazy Jacob

**Author's Note: Again, very sorry for the delay. But I'm here now. And it's good, I hope. I actually wrote a story for this one! It was too good an idea for me to pass up. Also, this chapter is dedicated to IsabellaMarieCullen3214, for inspiring the sparkling you-know-what. Check out her story, Insert witty title here. And if she reads this, I am intending no copyright infringement on her humor. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. I don't own IsabellaMarieCullen3214's joke. I do however own the Imaginary Voices in Jacob's Head (they like to be called Horace). **

**July 29****th**** Quote: **

**Seth:** _"You'll hurt her. Let her go."_

**Laughs nervously** You don't think anybody will get…seriously hurt, do you? Do you? No, of course not. No one will get hurt…that bad. No. Never. **Trying to reassure herself that everything will be okay. **I would think that someone is hurting Leah or Bella. Like Jacob has gone crazy and his trying to hurt Bella, but I don't really think that will happen. Maybe the Volturi are causing trouble.

* * *

somewhere in Canada

Jacob: **eye twitch** Ha, ha ha ha ha, I'll teach her to choose the bloodsucker over me! What does he have that I don't?!

Imaginary Voices in Jacob's Head: Bella. A sparkling penis.

Jacob: Shut up!

Imaginary Voices in Jacob's Head: We can't shut up, we're not even real. We're just figments of your demented imagination.

Jacob's Demented Imagination: **imagining that the voices are quiet**

Imaginary Voices in Jacob's Head: …

Jacob: Ha! **drives back to Forks**

A Few Hours Later

Bella: G'night Dad. **closes door to bedroom, lays on bed to wait for Edward**

Jacob: **from the shadows in a creepy stalker voice** Hello, Bella.

Bella: **oblivious **Jacob! You're back! **runs to hug him**

Jacob: **hugs back** Yes, I'm back. Miss me? **tightens hold**

Bella: Uh, Jacob…little too tight.

Jacob: **doesn't let go** I suppose you didn't miss me, did you? You were too busy frolicking with the bloodsucker!

Bella: Jake, what are you talking about?

Jacob: Well, Bella, you'll pay. Ha, yes you will pay for choosing_ him_. **drags Bella away to LaPush**

in LaPush

Jacob: **takes Bella just over the boundary line in an attempt to taunt the vampire who can't cross it and will definitely show up**

The Pack: Jacob! We've seen the plan in your mind! Don't do it, man!

Edward: **shows up** Leave her alone, mutt!

Jacob: **turns Bella so that her back is tightly against his chest and she is facing Edward**

Bella: Edward, help!

Jacob: Oh, but dear Bella, he can't, can he? You're over the boundary line.

Bella: Bastard.

Jacob: I would choose your words carefully, since your life is in my hands. **pulls out knife and holds it against her throat**

Bella: Gasp!

Seth: You'll hurt her. Let her go.

Jacob: Always the caring one, aren't we Seth? Hurting her is the point.

Seth: Jacob, please.

Jacob: Nah.

Bella: Jacob, please! Please don't do this.

Jacob: Shut up! **presses knife harder to her throat**

Edward: Listen _mutt_ –

Jacob: **growls and presses knife harder**

Edward: I mean Jacob. Listen, please, just let her go. No need to do anything rash.

Jacob: I loved her! I picked up the pieces when YOU left her, you ignorant boob! You were an idiot; you left the best girl in the world! Why should you be forgiven so easily!?

Edward: Jacob, I'm not the only one whose hurt her.

Jacob: **growls in warning and is now very close to cutting Bella's throat**

Bella: **whimpers**

Jacob: What are you talking about?

Edward: I've seen her cry over you many times. How do you think she felt when you told her you'd rather see her dead than become a vampire? She didn't punch you after you kissed her the first time because she loved you and wanted to be with _you_ forever.

Jacob: **drops knife** You – you're right. I've hurt her. I'm more of a threat than you. She should've chosen you. She was right. I was…wrong. **releases Bella and drops to knees**

Bella: **runs over boundary line and into Edward's arms**

Edward: **holds her tightly**

Jacob: **in hysterics** I'm sorry Bella. So sorry. **cries to the heavens **I'M SORRY!

The Pack: **takes knife safe distance away, puts Jacob in straight jacket, and sends him to the wacky shack**

* * *

**What do ya think? **


	19. July 30th, Gah!

**Author's Note: Gah! Once again, no story. Sorry guys, but my mind is frazzled. Completely fried. Sensory overload. Drained of brain juice by aliens with bendy straws. I'm very overwhelmed. **

**Disclaimer: I am not Stephenie Meyer. I am Kaitlin. Therefore, I couldn't possibly own Twilight.**

**July 30****th**** Quote: **

**Carlisle: "I've seen vampire venom work miracles, but there are conditions that even venom cannot overcome."**

What!! Are you effing kidding me!? We are having heart palpitations because there's less than two days left! And then they give us that quote to let our minds imagine the devastating possibilities of what could happen to our dear characters, especially Bella during her possible change! I love the quote, but…I can't even talk right now. My brain isn't functioning anymore. OME I CAN'T WAIT FOR BREAKING DAWN!

* * *

**GAH!**


	20. July 31st, Right on Time

**Author's Note: Ha! Right on time for once! Still no story, and I've already pointed out why. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, blah blah blah. I think the whole world knows by now that none of us own Twilight. **

**July 31****st**** Quote: **

**Jacob:** "I'll kill you myself! I'll do it now!"

No! No Jacob, you won't kill anyone! You will control yourself and will give in to no one's demands no matter what they say! Okay, so I definitely think he comes back from (in the words of Juno) east Jesus nowhere. Or people (Bella, The Pack, maybe?) went and found him somehow. But who would he kill? There's no way he would kill Bella, unless he got really desperate with the "No, don't become a vampire" thing. And if it's Edward, number one, why would he become all suicidal again (or is he not suicidal at all and something else completely is going on?), and number two, why would he go to Jacob to do it? (convenience? Irony?) Hmmm. This is perplexing.

* * *

**Set your clocks early. Submit your questions like I just did. Stephenie Meyer will be on Good Morning America at 7:00am. (eastern time), will be talking about BD, and will answer some fan questions!**


	21. August 1st, Bye!

**Author's Note: Here I am! Back from my string of no stories. Once again, this is more romantic than humorous/stupid. I guess this is it guys. The end of this story. Ta ta for now I suppose. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight and I am not Stephenie Meyer. **

**August 1****st**** Quote:**

**Bella: **_"Should I be afraid?"_

**Edward: _"_**_Terrified."_

First of all, OMG LESS THAN 24 HOURS TO GO! We are mere hours away from owning the fourth book of the best series ever! I think I'm gonna implode if I don't get Breaking Dawn soon!

The only thing running through my head right now is a remake of the scene in Twilight where Bella is in Edward's room for the first time and he growls and pounces on her. This quote is probably gonna be all serious in the actual book, but all that's in my head so close to the release of Breaking Dawn is Edward and Bella fluff.

* * *

BPOV

I loved this room. This was officially my favorite place to be. I had spent all day here, and I never wanted to leave again. Edward and I had spent the day in his bedroom, just relaxing and simply being together. We took ourselves away from all the stress of the wedding, turned our backs on the outside world. We forgot about werewolves and big, scary Italian vampires for once and just focused on each other. I don't know how long we had been sitting in the same position: he leaning against the headboard, I in his lap, his hands wrapped tightly around my waist, right where they should be.

I sighed contentedly. Edward leaned forward and rested his chin on my shoulder, nuzzling his face in my neck. "I love you Bella," he whispered against my skin.

"I love you Edward," I whispered back. He shifted me in his lap a little bit to face him and kissed me gently, sweetly. I smiled up at him when he pulled away. Although I usually hated it when he did that, I was completely satisfied right now.

"So…still so eager to become one of the eternally damned?"

I groaned inwardly. We were not having this conversation again, especially not right now. "Quite, actually," I retorted.

He rolled his eyes. "So excited to become a monster," he sighed.

"Yes, but I'll be your monster," I replied.

He chuckled at my remark. "Well that's one good thing."

"You know," I started, "You're not quite the terrifying monster you think you are. I've never seen or heard of you doing anything truly horrible, and I'm certainly not scared of you."

He raised his eyebrows slightly in questioning, probably remembering the time he left me. "Oh really?" He asked.

"Have I run away screaming yet?"

He smiled a little, but still raised his eyebrows in doubt of my theory. Suddenly he took me out of his lap and placed me on the bed next to him. He got off the bed and walked to the front of the room, near the bedroom door. He turned around and crouched like a lion slowly with a wicked glint in his topaz eyes. I had a flashback to the first time I had been in his room and he had pulled a similar stunt. Now it was my turn to raise my eyebrows. "Should I be afraid?" I questioned.

"Terrified," he growled, slightly threatening but not enough to uproot me from my seat.

Before I even had time to register the movement, he had pounced on me, pinning my arms above my head and straddling me, pinning me to the bed so tightly that I could never have escaped, even if I wanted to. "Still don't see the monster?" he growled low in his velvety voice.

It took me awhile to answer as he dazzled me once again. My head was already spinning and fogged in the cloud of his amazing scent. "Never," I said breathlessly. He laughed quietly against my skin as he kissed my neck, tracing across my collarbone to just below my ear, and then along my jaw line, over and over again. Like I said, I love this room.

* * *

**Bye guys!**


End file.
